apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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