Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
