Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
