When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
