I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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