Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
