Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
