he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
