Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
