My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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