I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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