Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
