when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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