Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
