okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
