I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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