Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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