You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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