I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it glows. i had to have it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
