We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
