I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize