We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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