Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
