oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
