Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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