My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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