I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
