DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
