I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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