I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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