he puts the penis in happiness.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
