There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize