I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
