I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
