In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
