there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
