If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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