he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
