My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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