halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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