We're like a lot better than the average bears
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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