I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
