We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
