You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
