Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
