dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and she was petting her beer can
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
