wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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