I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
