You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
