omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize