so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
