he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
