I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
