Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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