my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
