eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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