I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
