Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize