i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
