Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need a beard to bite.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
