We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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